Each month I’m going to focus on one topic for some of my posts. We’re going to look at scripture, podcasts, and hear from other people about their experiences with each topic and hopefully we’ll walk away with some clarity, peace, and a better understanding of God’s perspective.
The theme for February is identity.
It’s so easy to feel confused about “who we’re supposed to be” and what that even means. I don’t think anyone is exempt from feeling confused about this either. This “identity crisis” feeling reaches everyone from girls in elementary school to empty-nester moms.
It started young for me and is something that’s still a big struggle. I had a really tough time in 6th grade – I had fully transferred out of my ghetto phase (this was a real thing in 1st grade, y’all) and into my teacher’s pet/kind of quiet/loved having a ton of friends phase. Unlike some 6th graders now, who seem to understand how to properly apply eyeshadow + a full-contour better than I ever will, I majorly struggled to find my place in school. I ended up getting bullied by girls who had been my best friends the year before. It got so bad that my mom went into full mama-bear-protection-mode and had me transferred into a different home room class halfway through the year.
Everything settled after that and I eventually transferred to a smaller, private school the next year, but that year definitely made an impact on me and showed me how impressionable I was.
As women (and dudes!), we are constantly faced with a million different platforms that can influence what we think the ideal woman is or what #goals are, but rarely do any of these platforms (social media, the internet, TV/movies, etc.) show us God’s perspective. On the other hand, if you’re familiar with the woman described in Proverbs 31, then it’s easy to look at her and think she’s unattainable too.
Admittedly, I find myself in a weird struggle where I’m reaching towards being the quintessential “has it all” modern woman + the Proverbs 31 woman, thinking neither is actually attainable. Because I have a relationship with the Lord, I know that pursuing a life that looks like the Proverbs 31 woman will bring me immense joy and pursuing the appearance or lifestyle of celebrities or people online won’t bring me any joy at all. I’m constantly reminded that pursuing anything but Jesus will lead to anxiety and doubt.
It’s especially hard to remember this when we fill our minds with more negative input than positive input. If I’m spending 3 hours throughout the day scrolling through social media, but never picking up my bible or spending time with the Lord then why would I expect to live confidently? (I’m mega preaching to myself right now). All I would ever see are beautiful, over-exposed images of women who seem to “have it all,” allowing comparison to creep into my mind and take over. I know all women struggle with comparison to a degree, but good grief it has crippled me at certain points in my life – if that’s you then you are definitely not alone. So many times I’ve rolled my eyes hearing, “you are fearfully and wonderfully made,” choosing to believe that God spent a little more time on Blake Lively than He did me. (God has already forgiven me for those thoughts so don’t judge me, ya’ll!).
Here’s another thing that really convicts me: If I spend multiple hours a day on Netflix watching the shenanigans of Blair Waldorf or Meredith Grey, then am I even leaving myself room to spend time with the Lord? Or a better question, my best time with the Lord?
YIKES, YALL. For me, the answer is no. The time from 5:30 pm – 10:30 pm is super precious and doesn’t leave enough time for a
workout, dinner, a bible study, and/or hanging with friends, some event at church, a sporting event and spending time with Ryan AND hours of Netflix and social media scrolling. Unfortunately, some of the more importantly things (bible study, workout) lose to some of the more dumb things (Netflix) sometimes – but that’s life isn’t it?
So let’s commit to managing our time better this month to leave room for God to show us who we really are through His eyes. No more identity crisis’ for us, ladies!
Starting tomorrow, we’re going to explore the Word and what God says about who we are and more importantly, who He is and how that actually has everything to do with who we are.
Also, do me a favor and compliment a random woman you don’t know – make her day! Let’s build each other up – one compliment at a time.
Next week I’ll start getting into fun Dallas/ life posts so stick around! Woo!
What are some things/who are some people that keep you grounded and remind you of who God says you are?
– Caitlin –