Oh gosh what can I even say about Kate? We first met our freshman year of college when we were in the same organization. All I knew about her was that we had the same name, she was way cooler than me, and was gorgeous. So in my stupid and selfish mind I thought, “Oh great I’m the ugly Caitlin.” HA. Little did I know that a year later she’d end up becoming one of my best friends and eventually moving in with me! When I look back on college, 99% of all of my memories include her – and certainly the best ones. She’s honestly the funniest girl I know and has the kindest heart. I’ve loved her as a friend for years but always, always admired her and looked up to her. She’s funny, kind, and generous, but she’s also real. She’s the friend who’s not afraid to speak truth to you and then eat pizza rolls on the couch with you after. She was the friend who would drop anything to help or listen or bring you breakfast in between classes. She was right by my side through some really hard times – the breakups, the panic attacks, the failed tests, and the all of victories, too. I truly mean this when I say that there isn’t another friend like her.
You think you love someone and THEN THEY HAVE A CHILD. Kate and her hubby had their first baby this year and wowwwwww she’s perfect. Watching Kate as a mom-to-be and now a mom is honestly incredible. She was always responsible and maternal to our friend group, but she’s an amazing mother to Ellis. Such a natural. Ellis has her mama’s little personality which is so fun to watch come out! I don’t get to see Kate and her fam a lot since we’re hours apart, but I’ll always be one of her biggest fans and cheerleaders.
You’re about to read something so funny and so encouraging and I can’t wait for you to meet her.
Everyone, meet Kate!
I thought Cait was kidding when she asked me to be the guest post for this month’s theme. I mean, who honestly feels qualified enough to talk to others about HUMILITY?! Not me. While I don’t think I can offer much guidance, I’ll try my best to give you some encouragement!
“Have humility.” “Be humble.” Those are phrases we’ve heard our whole lives. Phrases we are told to live by; they set standards we all try to reach. But DANG, how hard is that sometimes?! I’m gonna be real with y’all for a little bit, is that alright? I struggle BIG with humility and I think I always have. Not in the sense of being prideful or arrogant, but I can be selfish. It’s in my nature as a human. There are two significant events in my life that have helped make me more aware of my own selfishness and brought forth a wave of humility I had never experienced. Two events I think will have some significance to almost anyone reading this.
1. Marriage. Or serious relationships in general. I married my husband, Josh, nearly two years ago and I must admit I don’t think that’s much experience to go off… I mean two years doesn’t even hold a candle to 50! However, I think we can all agree selfishness has no place in a healthy marriage, but it sure does rear its ugly head sometimes! Arguments early in our relationship (and even now sometimes) looked a lot like this – one person gets mad (probably me, and over something stupid) and shuts down. Fast forward and I’m still waiting on him to ask me what’s wrong. We finally end up talking (fighting) after a while of buildup, and it’s ugly. And gosh does it take a long time to finally resolve things. We might have even gone to bed pretty ticked at each other. Sound familiar? It seems so silly seeing it written out like that, but it’s the truth. I’m not proud of it. What if, in the middle of or before a fight, we thought about and treated the most important person in our lives like they were nothing less than EXACTLY THAT? What a difference that would make! I challenge each of you (and myself, let’s be real) to try this next time it seems a fight is inevitable. The outcome might surprise us! When I am more aware of my selfishness it’s easier for me to nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand. But in all honesty, even marriage didn’t prepare me for…
2. MOTHERHOOD. Let me forewarn you, this section will be WAY honest. There’s such a thing as Mom-judgment so I’m hoping you will show me a little grace. Our first baby, Ellis, was born in March of this year. Listen, nothing will bring you back down to Earth like having a room full of strangers staring straight at your lady-parts. It’s a little horrifying. But then we had this beautiful, perfect baby and had to bring her home. We had to keep her alive and be responsible for this little, tiny, selfish human. I don’t mean that in a derogatory way, but it’s true. Babies are selfish because they need to be and we, as parents, have to accommodate. In the last 8 months, I’ve gone days without a shower, drank more cold cups of coffee than any human being should have to, spent hours tied to a couch to nurse my new baby, and missed out on fun things with my friends and family. And babies don’t apologize. In fact, they aren’t sorry at all if they take up all your time—they crave it, and I’m happy to give it freely! But if I told you it didn’t sometimes upset me, or straight up make me mad, I’d be lying. I am lucky enough to work from home so I get a ton of time with my sweet girl, but there are some days that I practically throw her at Josh when he gets home from work. Please don’t judge me, my daughter is the light of my life and has brought me a love and happiness I’ve never known. Sometimes I just want to be a regular human who’s responsible for only myself, you know? But then Ellis smiles at me, or whispers mama, and I literally die inside. I’ve never been so happy to sacrifice every bit of myself for another human. There is just so much satisfaction in that kind of selflessness, being able to provide for and give of myself for our baby. And I can’t help but think – what if I treated other people the way I do my child? What if I sacrificed myself for their happiness and their well-being the way I do hers?
Nobody said finding true humility would be easy. And I really don’t think anyone ever TRULY finds it. We can’t help but let our selfish nature creep in sometimes, especially in a conflict when we just KNOW we are right. Or even when you just want to say “no”, ignore your responsibilities, and take some time for yourself. I know it’s embarrassing to admit when we are being selfish, but I think that’s the first step to understanding how to fix it. I’m going to make a promise in front of all of you. I’m going to try my best to treat my husband and my friends and my family and even strangers with the same selflessness as I do my daughter. I’m going to fall short, but all we can do is try to tackle one situation at a time, whether it’s with our parents, spouse, coworker, or children. Think, “In this situation I’m currently in, how can I put this person before me and how will that affect the outcome?”
I think it could move mountains, you guys.