First things first: if you don’t think your need courage with your marriage – can I convince you otherwise?
Every marriage needs some work at any given time – whether it’s working on large issues (money, sex, addictions, etc) or small issues like finally figuring out whose job it is to empty the dishwasher – there’s always room for improvement!
So let’s talk courage + marriage.
Sometimes we get so comfortable in our relationship (and we genuinely just love the person) that it’s our natural choice to choose the familiar routine over growth effort, or change. -same fights, same triggers, and rarely true resolution. This can lead to us avoiding issues or even just throwing up the white flag.
On the other side of that – maybe you’re people who have worked really hard through issues and are in a nice, coasting phase – you don’t fight all that much, you enjoy and prefer to be around each other, and you’re just enjoying life together.
So how does courage fit into either scenario?
Here are my two challenges:
1. If you’re someone who gravitates towards comfort, routine, and peace at all costs in marriage, I’m going to challenge you to look at your marriage and accept that it’s okay and it’s good to be bold – that courage is available to you. It’s good to have the tough conversations that need resolution. It’s good and beautiful to continuously pray for the same things over and over again. It’s good to seek counseling and wisdom from others! Your bravery and effort will be met with God’s strength and peace. Would you have some courage today?
2. If you’re someone who feels pretty dang good or even great about your marriage, I’m going to challenge you to accept that there’s always room for growth – and that stagnancy needs to be fought with effort continuously. I want you to ask yourself, “What more can I do for my spouse today?” I want you to share the wisdom that God’s given you about marriage. I want you to tell your story of growth. I want you to encourage and help other couples. And definitely don’t sleep on your own daily prayer + scripture because things are fine and dandy. Would you have some courage today?
Don’t let the fear of conflict keep you from resolution + peace.
Don’t let the fear of confession + humility keep you from true acceptance.
Don’t let pride + your own understanding keep you from wisdom + joy.
Just like life, marriage has seasons. I’ve been married long enough to know at least that. I also know that marriage is a reflection of Christ and the church and is the most important relationship you can have with someone on earth. As someone who is married, one of your jobs is to protect and nurture our spouses eternity – isn’t that so important? We need to feel the weight and honor of that. We need to have the courage to say, “I love you and I think this [whatever] needs to change.” We need to have the courage to allow our spouses to hold us accountable, too!
If we ever think our marriage is hopeless – we need to self-examine and seek wisdom. If we ever think our marriage has nothing left to work on – we need to self-examine and seek wisdom.
The craziest, most beautiful courage is available to us every single day and LIVES WITHIN US AS BELIEVERS. Access it. Use it.
Fight for your marriages today, y’all.
Praying for you all!
p.s. LOVE YOU SO MUCH MR. TAYLOR. Thank you for making me feel so loved and always encouraging me to be brave + bold.